Bitter medicine

My first memories of my father extend to the time when I was three years old. My father was the Superintendant of the Mental Hospital (now Psychiatric centre) at Jaipur. He had just been diagnosed with hypertension. There were very few medicines like Rauwolfia and Adelphane for hypertension at that time, and the prognosis was considered rather bleak with a great risk of coronary artery disease. My father went into a depression, and once I saw him in tears. I used to love to sing and my father had bought me a HMV gramophone so that I could sing along. One such song was form the film Nastik. I began singing that song Himmat na haar, Prabhu ko pukar, Who hi teri naaya lagayega paar Tanik bhi tilmilana na, zara bhi dil hilana na Hazaar haathwala hai Bhagwan Ho naiya wale ho, savdhan He stopped crying and hugged me At the age of six, I left him to stay with my maternal uncle to take care of my education. Thereafter, I used to see him only when I came home during the ...

During the protests at Jantar Mantar, one of the girls was groped, as tweeted by her. What does this show? That to most men anywhere anytime all females are forms of flesh with two breasts and two bums and a ‘va….’ with or without a pretty face. As far as they are concerned, men’s eyes were made to ogle all female forms and the hands were designed to grab what you can while you can. It would be interesting to know how they would handle it if the tables were turned. It would be great if “It’s a boy girl thing “could really happen. If it’s all a matter of eyeing that which is not so readily visible, porn sites would be the most sought after, and they are. In fact, one of the film sites actually shows ‘Rape scenes from films’ for download, and I am sure it has many hits. It should also translate that those fairly familiar with the nude forms like medical professionals and artists would be less obsessed. This isn’t so. It’s all a matter of mindset. That the way boys grew up in schoo...

I think there are some conflicts and mis-perceptions here . Do we wish the death penalty for any and every rapist? It takes me back to the days of “thugs” when every “thug” was hanged. What resulted was that these thugs killed all their victims to remove any evidence, and as the penalty was death for thugging or killing, they had nothing to lose. This is precisely what will happen here too. If we think that the death penalty will be a deterrent, it seems highly unlikely, as it is seldom a planned crime.  This is more a consequence of a mindset.      Virtually every male is used to passing lewd remarks and commenting on the ‘tits and arse’ of females he sees, more so if they are in company. This attitude requires change, for as the females rightly persists, it’s their body .Often one hears of arguments that their provocative and exhibitive dress acts as an instigation, but then why should the Salmans and John Abrahams go about flaunting their muscles and mach...

A gang rape in the capital, brutal attack on a boy and girl, the press all aghast and alert, the people up in arms. A rape or gang rape is nothing new but such brutalization is.Then every form of protest, and action and punishment seems justified. Why a rape? Many years ago, while speaking on promiscuity in love, I came across G B Shaw’s view that there can be only one true love at a time. What was more pertinent was that for him sex was a primitive reflex, an animal instinct which need not be confined morally to one, as in marriage. Like me, many would beg to differ. To me sex is, and ought to be, the epitome of a truly divine experience in love, the spark at the end of an ecstatic journey in man-woman relationship. It is when we perceive sex as a reflex or instinct that 'rape' takes shape as the culmination of an uncontrollable urge which cannot be stalled. It still does not justify, for at the other end of this reflex urge is another human being with the same feelin...

My first pet was a Pomeranian gifted to me by a colleague. We named him Hector. Over the months he developed an ear for my wife’s school bus. As it rounded the campus block, he would dash for the gate, stick his paws and hid face through the grill and wait patiently for it to stop at the gate. He even learned to recognize the whirr of my scooter. When he was nine months old, we made the blunder of sending him away in a train's dog pound in mid -winter The trains rumbling and clatter must have rattled his ears and senses for he became listless, or was it he missed us as one would miss family. The only life and enthusiasm he showed was when some scooter passed by, hoping and expecting it was me. Days later when I went to retrieve him, I was told he had died three days before.                 Badi der se dar pe ankhen lagi thi,                Bahut der kar di meharbaan...

First, it was Roop Kanwar and the revival of sati, then it was VP and Mandal and the resurrection of the caste system.Now it is that night in Gauhati and the re-enactment of Dropdi's 'cheerharan'. Viva! India on the move. When Dushshasan  dragged Dropdi by her hair and tried to disrobe her in open court, some issues came to the fore. Why did the learned patriarch Bhishm remain silent.It was reasoned that he was bound by his oath to protect the Hastinapur rajya and its king.Was his allegiance to the Raja or the praja?The praja is deemed paramount in all our scriptures and edicts. Was he even bound to defend and endure all the blatant acts of outrage by the king? He was then as much a party to the sins and crime of the king.How then does that make Bhishm the embodiment of integrity and unimpeachable character? Dropdi questions Vidhur on the legal and ethical aspect of Yudhishtra staking her.Vidhur has no answer. No one in the court of Dhitrashtra tries to desist Dushshas...

Today’s episode on domestic violence highlighted two important emergent issues. One, our women continue to accept violence for years together. This is largely because of insecurity about the outcome of walking out. The answer seems to lie in that we should make the girls independent and self sufficient before marrying them Any dowry should be in the form of securities and capital investments in their names or as one participant brought out in the form of property. Gold and jewellery is of no use once it passes on to the in-laws even though it is legally theirs as 'stree dhan' The other issue is about taking legal recourse. No One goes into wedlock fortified with the laws laid down for their protection. May be they should. The fallout of satyamev jayate episodes has been a general revolt or animosity of concerned parties, be it doctors or the khaps. I am sure some sort of revolt will result from this episode too, in what form or by whom I have no idea. The docto...